three & leave

by Mixit Ashix

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released March 9, 2013

track one featuring Jonathan Zonenshine on percussion
track three featuring Jacob Silver on additional guitar
track five featuring Tom Smart on percussion and piano



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Mixit Ashix Torrington, Connecticut

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Track Name: better home
aren’t you afraid to hold it,
it’s weaker than us
you know it
divides, it rusts

we’ve seen it happen
to others we know
it only gets smaller
until it goes

neither you nor I
show it much love
I lie and say I hate it
you lie and say you’re done

oh we’ll be sorry
won’t we,
half a year from now
or will we be stuck somewhere else?

I hope I see you happy
don’t I
in your better home
or will I go and want you for myself?

I told you we shouldn’t have gone this far
all we’ve got to show for it, is a shrinking heart
everything is spilling out, and it won’t even stain
how can I remember you if you’re not to blame

and you say it’ll be easy
we’ll just count to three and
but what if I mess up
and I keep holding onto your sleeve?

‘cause I don’t know how
to end it well
so if we’re gonna do it
it better hurt like hell
Track Name: counter
i was pretending to sleep
i heard every word
you know that I’m weak
now you know that i’m weak

you rubbed my back, you asked
"did we wake you up?"
i didn’t move
no i didn’t move

i close ‘cause i don’t know what else to do
to protect myself from you
i pull away the more you try
i’m sorry i leave you sometimes

if i am cold it’s because i know
i can’t keep you, i don’t want you to go
and if i am drunk it’s because i don’t
have any excuse for feeling like i do

i hoped you would not remember those fights
i try to forget them myself
she made me scared i’d lose you that night
who knew i had something i cared for
and who could i tell
Track Name: something quick
i’ve read about us
we don’t make it, too many cuts
from sleeping around and not enough trust
i’ve read about us

what we have is a breeze
something quick, a memory to be
we think maybe someday, but no guarantee
what we have is a breeze

but don’t look so sad
right now you think love might never be back
the truth is we sampled a kind that would last
my love will stay though we have passed
Track Name: the big one
the bank of snow was higher than my car
it was dark and the music wouldn’t play
a week gone by and you were sick of home
we kissed and when the kiss was done
we couldn’t move a bone
was that love or exhaustion, I don’t know

we waved goodbye to everyone we met
honey sticky on our hands and honey in our heads
we fell asleep that night with tummy aches
from the whiskey that we stirred into our cocoa

but you held onto me
as though it were our bed
i hope you don’t forget

we drove the next morning and you left
I find it worsens every time you do
we’ve tried arms, we’ve tried cables,
we’ve tried to tie ‘em tight
but I can’t stay with you

when you agreed, I tried to hide my tears
but it’s all good practice for the big one
I guess I should get rid of these thoughts,
but I’d rather memorize you, it’s all that I’ve got
in the kitchen when we got home from the city
and you told me that my feelings made you hot
well I hope that still holds true when we give up on us
how could you let me leave you in the middle of our lust
Track Name: fewer faults
isn’t it odd
we get used to feelings
in ununsual spots

stay up late to ask god
to take you away
untangle the knot

I don’t like myself like this
i don’t like myself like this
I don’t like myself

i get angry with you
i shouldn’t, remember
i’m leaving you soon

it started so tiny and new
i was nicer then
maybe i’m mad that it grew

i don’t love i don’t fall
you want someone
who has fewer faults

who cares what it’s called
i care about you
that’s the worst of it all
Track Name: until june
i feel like a daydream, i’m not even gone
we agreed to make love until june
it’s a strange combination of sad and turned on
to know what is coming, and still try to cast into you

you walked through the city to buy cigarettes
while i stayed with him in the hallway
maybe i think it’s better to have little regrets
than a single pleasant memory of you i would rather forget

i know that you say
we will quickly go away
and that’s why i’m afraid

oh we’ll find new friends
and we'll set new dates
and we won’t remember, what a shame

we pulled into the wrong parking garage
and we browsed the museum alone
you were angry ‘cause i had been lost all along
and there’s no map for us, i will not find my way back
on my own

when the boat you’re on
is a home you’ve made
you’ll forget the time you almost said you wanted to stay
Track Name: the forecast
she’ll like your piano leg,
the one that’s always very nervous
for every time you sing to her
she’ll wake you up with sex

i’ll have paid to travel
and i’ll move in with the one you’ve heard of
he’ll be missing something else
or someone, i expect

she will never write for you
but she’ll go through your glove compartment
find your favorite album and she’ll
study all the words

you will read the books she likes
and i will furnish our apartment,
listen as he thinks and types
my crocodile bird