Window Seat

by Mixit Ashix

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because the aisle seat is always second best lol


released April 17, 2012

music and lyrics and mixing (c) Ashly LaRosa
album cover photography (c) Kevin Laing
album cover editing (c) Ana Davis



all rights reserved


Mixit Ashix Torrington, Connecticut

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Track Name: Measures of You
i've got to keep it tucked away
for everybody's health
cause i already know what you'll say
oh i know how it ends and it doesn't end well

well there's trail mix from my drunken state
to your doorway, and i hesitate
but i go
and the orchestra plays
whistling don't
but i do anyway
and i cannot look you in the eye
but that's not required
and i almost mention it, really, i do
but i can't light a match without starting a fire

you unfasten unbutton undo
and i'm swimming in measures of you
and i always think i'll be less lonely when we're through

i think you think me some kind of machinery
no heart no say just gears and springs no inbetweenery
i'll never be the book you read, the window seat, somebody that you need
i am just a wrinkled sheet

if i let it out of its cage
the canary will die
nothing is safe out in the open like that
and i buckle, but i never give, as you touch me,
oh, you rarely ask how i am

better off to leave it as it is
you'll be sorry if i ever tell the truth to you
if you ever feel a ghost of me or even something close to me
inside your head at night
shake it out before it bites
you cannot trust your feelings cause you're feelings can't be right
Track Name: Love to Bring you Tears
i heard how you like her
well, i must say it struck a chord
i want you, not for keeps
but i guess she wants you more

oh, i'm a nominee alright
i'll get my award
for the one whose heart has always been a puddle on the floor

maybe i should try honesty
but what would i say?
i don't have the love to bring you tears
let alone wipe them away
isn't it selfish of me
to ask you to stay
when i'll take my leave in only a matter of days

to be the thought that works
in circles in your brain
behind a melody instead of in your shame

oh no, i don't feel magic when i'm caught up in your name
but even so, it hurts to know, i'm losing at this game
Track Name: Pastime
all this time spent worrying
that i'd make you feel sick
beneath your clown exterior
i thought you might be delicate

but you don't care for me
no, i am empty space
and doesn't that always seem to be the way the mess gets made?

what good are you in my head?
where's your heart if it's not in your chest?
i'm sorry you see me as just a pastime
well, it's the last time

what good has any of it ever been?
i don't exist unless i'm in your bed
i'm sorry you saw me as just a pastime
well that's the last time

followed my feet to the parking lot
water dries on the print
you're only lonely late in the night
i just never let myself take a hint
i bet you put your hands together
i'm no better, no i'm no better
the absence of me in your thoughts
is the very thing that gets me off
the only reason you're in season
is because i'm someone you don't want
Track Name: The Morning
How long til this gives
how long do we baby this
you’re nice but it’s only a kiss on the lips
I won’t make this more than it is

I cried at the stoplight
I don’t know why I was fine all night
you shouldn’t worry don’t worry I swear
I’m teaching myself not to care

You look so tired
I still don’t know what you’re thinking and I’m bad at sleeping I’m sorry
sometimes I think that you’re sad but I don’t want to ask you, I’m scared of you in the morning

Just to put you at ease
I wouldn’t feel used as a scratched cd
play with my feelings and I’ll write it down
I’m using you too, I’m using you too
Track Name: Relapse #2
You come and you go at your own free will
But here I hold the strings
And I made you jealous
I made you dance
And without a word you followed me

Oooh, you loved me, oh, you told me
You were sorry, oh

I don’t remember the sounds you made
But I felt you really there
And if I should go back to that place
Would you meet me there?
Only dreaming for a minute
Will you love me in it?

Indian style on the floor,
We mourned our story’s end
We knew what we’d done
You wanted it back
I said I had been crazy then

Oooh, the rain fell hard upon your black umbrella
And you held me and it held us
And we kissed and as we did I watched the shapes
Appear about us, one by one they would surround us
And when the morning came I thought
I’d find that love had found us

(Oh, if you want to stay then stay for good
Be tangible, be something understood
And if we’re dark and strange and don’t believe I think we should
I didn’t mean the bullet, oh it wasn’t me who pulled it, no
And if I woke to save you, you’d be just as if you took it
Oh, it wasn’t me who pulled it)
Track Name: Envelope Lover
binocular dream
it seems i forgot you
i'm sorry i lost you
know i didn't mean to

if i fall asleep
i promise to find you
and try to be kind to
the body beside you

oh i've got no right, no right
in your head, nor you in mine

i know you keep me somewhere deep
and oh, it's safe for now
will you ever let me out?
you live inside my lullabies
i've buried you in song
but you can't hide there very long

my heart has gone blue from
the heartache it carries
it's made me a monster
your love can repair me

oh, you've got this midwinter light
that distracts me from the old fire's bite
oh, i've got quite the appetite
to love you with my whole damn life

i know you keep me somewhere deep
and oh, it's safe for now
will you ever let me out?
you live inside my lullabies
i've buried you in song
but you can't hide there very long

be on your way
my envelope lover
you're addressed to another
and i'm certain you love her