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Window Seat

by Mixit Ashix

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1.
i've got to keep it tucked away for everybody's health cause i already know what you'll say oh i know how it ends and it doesn't end well well there's trail mix from my drunken state to your doorway, and i hesitate but i go and the orchestra plays whistling don't but i do anyway and i cannot look you in the eye but that's not required and i almost mention it, really, i do but i can't light a match without starting a fire you unfasten unbutton undo and i'm swimming in measures of you and i always think i'll be less lonely when we're through i think you think me some kind of machinery no heart no say just gears and springs no inbetweenery i'll never be the book you read, the window seat, somebody that you need i am just a wrinkled sheet if i let it out of its cage the canary will die nothing is safe out in the open like that and i buckle, but i never give, as you touch me, oh, you rarely ask how i am better off to leave it as it is you'll be sorry if i ever tell the truth to you if you ever feel a ghost of me or even something close to me inside your head at night shake it out before it bites you cannot trust your feelings cause you're feelings can't be right
2.
i heard how you like her well, i must say it struck a chord i want you, not for keeps but i guess she wants you more oh, i'm a nominee alright i'll get my award for the one whose heart has always been a puddle on the floor maybe i should try honesty but what would i say? i don't have the love to bring you tears let alone wipe them away isn't it selfish of me to ask you to stay when i'll take my leave in only a matter of days to be the thought that works in circles in your brain behind a melody instead of in your shame oh no, i don't feel magic when i'm caught up in your name but even so, it hurts to know, i'm losing at this game
3.
Pastime 03:24
all this time spent worrying that i'd make you feel sick beneath your clown exterior i thought you might be delicate but you don't care for me no, i am empty space and doesn't that always seem to be the way the mess gets made? what good are you in my head? where's your heart if it's not in your chest? i'm sorry you see me as just a pastime well, it's the last time what good has any of it ever been? i don't exist unless i'm in your bed i'm sorry you saw me as just a pastime well that's the last time followed my feet to the parking lot water dries on the print you're only lonely late in the night i just never let myself take a hint i bet you put your hands together i'm no better, no i'm no better the absence of me in your thoughts is the very thing that gets me off the only reason you're in season is because i'm someone you don't want
4.
The Morning 04:24
How long til this gives how long do we baby this you’re nice but it’s only a kiss on the lips I won’t make this more than it is I cried at the stoplight I don’t know why I was fine all night you shouldn’t worry don’t worry I swear I’m teaching myself not to care You look so tired I still don’t know what you’re thinking and I’m bad at sleeping I’m sorry sometimes I think that you’re sad but I don’t want to ask you, I’m scared of you in the morning Just to put you at ease I wouldn’t feel used as a scratched cd play with my feelings and I’ll write it down I’m using you too, I’m using you too
5.
Relapse #2 06:14
You come and you go at your own free will But here I hold the strings And I made you jealous I made you dance And without a word you followed me Oooh, you loved me, oh, you told me You were sorry, oh I don’t remember the sounds you made But I felt you really there And if I should go back to that place Would you meet me there? Only dreaming for a minute Will you love me in it? Indian style on the floor, We mourned our story’s end We knew what we’d done You wanted it back I said I had been crazy then Oooh, the rain fell hard upon your black umbrella And you held me and it held us And we kissed and as we did I watched the shapes Appear about us, one by one they would surround us And when the morning came I thought I’d find that love had found us (Oh, if you want to stay then stay for good Be tangible, be something understood And if we’re dark and strange and don’t believe I think we should I didn’t mean the bullet, oh it wasn’t me who pulled it, no And if I woke to save you, you’d be just as if you took it Oh, it wasn’t me who pulled it)
6.
binocular dream it seems i forgot you i'm sorry i lost you know i didn't mean to if i fall asleep i promise to find you and try to be kind to the body beside you oh i've got no right, no right in your head, nor you in mine i know you keep me somewhere deep and oh, it's safe for now will you ever let me out? you live inside my lullabies i've buried you in song but you can't hide there very long my heart has gone blue from the heartache it carries it's made me a monster your love can repair me oh, you've got this midwinter light that distracts me from the old fire's bite oh, i've got quite the appetite to love you with my whole damn life i know you keep me somewhere deep and oh, it's safe for now will you ever let me out? you live inside my lullabies i've buried you in song but you can't hide there very long be on your way my envelope lover you're addressed to another and i'm certain you love her

about

because the aisle seat is always second best lol

credits

released April 17, 2012

music and lyrics and mixing (c) Ashly LaRosa
album cover photography (c) Kevin Laing
album cover editing (c) Ana Davis

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Mixit Ashix Torrington, Connecticut

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